Top 10 First Date Tips for Men: From A Woman’s Perspective

So you just landed a date with the hottie you met at the in the checkout line at the grocery store … Excellent! Good news is that she seems just as excited about the date as you are. Bad news is, the last time you asked for advice it was from a buddy who told you that chicks loved arrogant men and to make sure to try to get in her pants on the first date. Yeah, I really bet that got you far with her. And you wonder why so many of your buddies (and you) are still single? Believe me, I’m sure you’re thinking that dating tips for men wouldn’t seem like something you have to read about in a blog; after all, you can just keep asking your buddies for their advice, right? Get real, man! If you truly want to impress this girl and hope that the attraction doesn’t just end on the first date, do yourself a favor and free yourself from the advice of your couch-potato, beer bellied (single) friends and read on:

1. Keep it Creative but Casual
There are many ways to be creative for the first date (reference my Date Night Ideas—it applies to men as well). If you add some creativity, it shows that you cared about this date and want it to be fun and interesting. There is no reason to break the bank here… you don’t have to go to the Ritz to impress a woman. You will get a lot more mileage by keeping the date creative but casual. She is more likely to be impressed by your innovation rather than the size of your pocketbook.

2. Give Her a Head’s Up
There is nothing worse for a girl than not knowing what to wear on a date. She already has a hard enough time figuring out what to wear when she KNOWS where she’s going but to have no clue just adds unneeded stress. If you are the one in charge of the plans for this date, for God’s sake, let her know. You are not “seeming mysterious” or “thrilling” by keeping her in the dark, especially for the first date. Give the poor girl a break and let her know where you are headed so she can look as fabulous as possible and not end up wearing a party dress when you planned to take her on a hike!

3. Spend Time on Yourself
A girl needs to know that you care enough about the date that you spent some time on yourself. If you show up with a tattered t-shirt and an unshaven face, she’s going to think you don’t care enough about her or the date to take some time to prepare. Pick out a hip outfit (have a girl or gay friend help you if you need it) and be sure to have on a nice pair of shoes, you may even want to take the time to get them polished up. Also, for God’s sake, make sure you have nice breath! Be sure to brush your teeth to pearly white completion and keep some mints handy to ward off any garlic or coffee breath.

4. Show Up on Time
Don’t ever, ever keep a woman waiting on you. It doesn’t build anticipation, it makes you appear inconsiderate and self-centered. If something happens and you can’t avoid running late, call her and apologize and let her know so she isn’t sitting at home thinking you blew her off.

5. Be Confident but Not Arrogant
Let’s face it, confidence is sexy but arrogance is a HUGE turn off. Simple things can show a woman that you are confident: making eye contact, being a gentleman, being proud of your job, etc. Arrogance is completely different: if you’re not careful you can come across as full of yourself and instead of respecting your date, you can appear to be-little her and make yourself seem that you think you are the best thing since sliced bread. Be sure of yourself but stay humble.

6. Ask Questions
Of course you want her to get to know you. You’ll have plenty of opportunity to let her get to know you if you get to know her on those first few dates. You should certainly answer her questions and give input to the conversation, but make sure you ask her about what she likes and what she’s interested in. Don’t forget to get her opinion rather than just giving yours, and if you disagree on a particular subject, that’s fine. Debating an interesting topic in a relaxed manner will show you’re intelligent and that you respect her opinion. And please, don’t insist on changing her mind…respect her independence.

7. Don’t Sound Like a Sports Fanatic
Alright, it’s okay to enjoy sports. Most women find it sexy when a guy likes to watch football on Sundays and follows certain teams. But a major red flag is a guy that completely obsesses over a sport/sports. I once dated a guy (notice the words “once dated”) who was obsessed with not only Fantasy Football but Fantasy Baseball, as well. If you know anything about these pastimes you know how much time is spent researching the players, following the games and so on and so ooooonnn! Please, if you are one of those guys, keep it to yourself at least for the first date and in all honesty, please try to simmer it down. It is one thing to enjoy a leisurely weekend watching a game on the couch, but it is a completely different story to spend every waking moment pouring over stats on the computer and preoccupied with who wins the pot. She’s bound to think you don’t have a life thus no time for her.

8. Be Yourself
I know this sounds simplistic, but I’m often astounded by the number of men who try to show off how successful and important they are by inflating their job titles, salary, etc. Do you really want to get caught in this type of charade weeks or even months down the line? If she’s really the one for you, she’ll respect what you do and who you are. Far better for her to find out now than later, trust me. PLEASE NOTE: If you remember any of my dating tips for men, this one is the absolute most important.

9. Have Fun and Flirt
The secret to having a great date is to build rapport and attraction. When you’re out with her, this should be one of your first concerns. If there is not attraction between the two of you, the date will go nowhere. So it’s important to have a little fun and flirt with her. Tell her she looks beautiful and feed her compliments throughout the night. Touch her hand or her leg (don’t grope, just a tender touch here or there is sufficient). Done right, flirty affection goes a long way with a girl and she’s bound to come back for more.

10. Don’t Expect Sex
If you truly do like this girl, believe me she’s worth the wait. If you find that there is plenty of sexual chemistry between you two remind yourself that it will still be there for the next date. If she is playing her cards right, she is going to make you wait until at least date number three before she leads you into the gates of heaven. Prepare yourself for the grim reality ahead of time that there will be no nookie on the first go-around. Sure, a great make-out session is more than acceptable, but know when to back off and leave like a gentleman. Keep in mind that there is nothing sexier than a patient man.

From my experience, if a guy follows these basic tips and there is an obvious attraction between you, there is no doubt she will want to go out with you again. So quit asking your bone-head friends for advice and follow the advice from an expert!

Hopelessly But Not Helplessly Seeking Love!
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